Pencil Necked Geeks vs. Pluto

Going steady as a young girl meant wearing a St. Christopher medal. It was a sweet thing, this mix of puppy love and an image of a man carrying the Christ child across a river on his shoulders. Stealing some sweet, cheap wine and hiding in the St. Elizabeth Church grotto, giggling and kissing with St. Chris around your neck was bound to be banned. It was too fine for the Catholati to leave alone. Christopher had to be de-beatified, de-sainted, taken off that medal and demoted to a mere nice guy. So be it, sayeth the old Italians with pointy hats.
Yesterday, in another fine room filled with eggheads and their pocket protectors, there was proclamated and promulgamed that our dear little planet Pluto was not a planet, but a planetette. Little far out dwarf, they say. Go hang with Ceres and Xena.
In the country with enough cool to make Frank Zappa their cultural ambassador, they managed gather enough goofs to decide that Pluto didn't cut it. To these boys, size matters.
But, don't you worry. This move has a love light all its own.
Ceres is the wife/sister of Jupiter, and Roman goddess of growing plants and motherly love. Xena, as anyone familiar with the warrior princess knows, is a lesbian. They've been rooming alone for quite a while now.
Pluto didn't even bother packing his bag when he got the news. He charged out to set up housekeeping with these two wild kitties as quick as you please.
Heard he's giving both of them St. Christophers, and they're fluffing up the pillows and cooking up something very special for their new man.
As any girl can tell you, size doesn't matter.