'N' More
'n' More is a ubiquitous Northwest concept. Mattress 'n' More, Vacuums 'n' More, Print Quick 'n' More signs dominate what passes for this rural coastal community's business district.
I had my stained glass lamp repaired at Vacuums 'n' More, and she did an excellent job at a reasonable price. In a mere four months, my shattered lamp was nearly new again. She was polite, chatty and helpful.
I also had my clock repaired at a local jeweler. Grouchy, overweight staff took the clock and said it, too, would be completed in four months. It was. The mysterious only-clock-repairman-on-the-north-coast did a fine job at a reasonable price.
Statistically, of course, this is far too small an 'n' More sample from which to draw a conclusion, but that little detail doesn't stop news services and drug companies, so I'll ignore it, too.
Why does everything take four months?
I have a couple of theories.
One is weather. People learn to appreciate beautiful weather here. It's not pervasive, like in Southern California. If it's over 50 degrees and the sun is out, young girls are in flip-flops, tube tops and shorts. Men are fishing and hunting. Staff is cut to a minimum at businesses that do bother to open. Tradesmen cancel appointments (usually by not showing up. You either figure it out, or harass it out of their clueless skeleton staff). Restaurant service grinds to an even slower than usual pace, and huge mommies lumber through store aisles with their twinkies, cheetos and bologna and stall check-out lines with a plethora of coupons. Enjoy this BEAUTIFUL day!
There's really no competition here. If a competent person is found, he is elevated to rock star status. He books up weeks in advance. Only your best friends will tell you about him. You take what he gives you, both in timeframe and price. He has you by the short hairs, and knows it. The four month wait is worth it.
Then, there's education. Some of this laissez faire attitude is cultural. A high school education seems to be just fine here in Astoria. It's a deep, dark secret how many graduates of CCCC (Clatsop County Community College) go on to a four-year university, or graduate at all, for that matter. The English language, never safe with a 19 year old in any American city, is cheerfully mutilated here. Not slang. Simple, grammatical stuff, that you learned in the third grade, is mangled, e.g., Do ya want these 'uns or those 'uns?
There's more. While the Port of Astoria should be a bustling enterprise, it's run by yahoos that recently tried to go into business with very obviously bankrupt Calpine. With full support of the local accountant on their board, their rationale to partner with this debt-riddled bohemoth was 75 living wage jobs. Bet they would have been fired for spotty attendance, if they passed the drug test.
So, I've cracked the code for you. 'n'More means whatever the business offers in addition to their main enterprise, will take four months.
You're welcome.
I had my stained glass lamp repaired at Vacuums 'n' More, and she did an excellent job at a reasonable price. In a mere four months, my shattered lamp was nearly new again. She was polite, chatty and helpful.
I also had my clock repaired at a local jeweler. Grouchy, overweight staff took the clock and said it, too, would be completed in four months. It was. The mysterious only-clock-repairman-on-the-north-coast did a fine job at a reasonable price.
Statistically, of course, this is far too small an 'n' More sample from which to draw a conclusion, but that little detail doesn't stop news services and drug companies, so I'll ignore it, too.
Why does everything take four months?
I have a couple of theories.
One is weather. People learn to appreciate beautiful weather here. It's not pervasive, like in Southern California. If it's over 50 degrees and the sun is out, young girls are in flip-flops, tube tops and shorts. Men are fishing and hunting. Staff is cut to a minimum at businesses that do bother to open. Tradesmen cancel appointments (usually by not showing up. You either figure it out, or harass it out of their clueless skeleton staff). Restaurant service grinds to an even slower than usual pace, and huge mommies lumber through store aisles with their twinkies, cheetos and bologna and stall check-out lines with a plethora of coupons. Enjoy this BEAUTIFUL day!
There's really no competition here. If a competent person is found, he is elevated to rock star status. He books up weeks in advance. Only your best friends will tell you about him. You take what he gives you, both in timeframe and price. He has you by the short hairs, and knows it. The four month wait is worth it.
Then, there's education. Some of this laissez faire attitude is cultural. A high school education seems to be just fine here in Astoria. It's a deep, dark secret how many graduates of CCCC (Clatsop County Community College) go on to a four-year university, or graduate at all, for that matter. The English language, never safe with a 19 year old in any American city, is cheerfully mutilated here. Not slang. Simple, grammatical stuff, that you learned in the third grade, is mangled, e.g., Do ya want these 'uns or those 'uns?
There's more. While the Port of Astoria should be a bustling enterprise, it's run by yahoos that recently tried to go into business with very obviously bankrupt Calpine. With full support of the local accountant on their board, their rationale to partner with this debt-riddled bohemoth was 75 living wage jobs. Bet they would have been fired for spotty attendance, if they passed the drug test.
So, I've cracked the code for you. 'n'More means whatever the business offers in addition to their main enterprise, will take four months.
You're welcome.
posted by Kitty O'Keefe at 6:09 AM
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