Stringin' Me Along
On September 9, I told you that Stephen Hawking was looking for a Research Assistant. "Must have a caring nature and understand string theory" were my recommended minimum qualifications. Little did I know.
Now, it's been announced that Stephen is getting a divorce. The divorce he is seeking is from his second wife of eleven years, Elaine, who was married to the man who designed Professor Hawking's voice synthesizer before she broke up the marriage to the mother of his children. Slut!
So, for the real dirt, I turn to E! Entertainment television. They have Ryan Seacrest on E News, for Christ's sake. They'll have the lowdown.
Nothing. Well, Guiliana di Pandi is on vacation. Maybe he needed help with this story.
Okay, well Access Hollywood will surely have the juicy inside details. No? Okay, possibly this is a higher level of gossip. Maybe Inside Edition with Deborah Norville. She used to be on the Today Show just like Katy Couric, so she's a kind of "real" journalist. Just the fodder for her.
Silence.
What is this, a blind item? Why is no one talking about this? What is going on? Was he fooling around with the research assistant he is now seeking to replace? Did his slut wife find out? Did she catch them in the act? What act? Were there pictures?
CBS Evening News with Katy Couric didn't touch the story. She LOVES celebrities! What is going on here?
If you hear anything - ANYTHING - about this, drop me a line.
Where are the real journalists, anyway?
Oh, and how's that theoretical physics thingy going?
Now, it's been announced that Stephen is getting a divorce. The divorce he is seeking is from his second wife of eleven years, Elaine, who was married to the man who designed Professor Hawking's voice synthesizer before she broke up the marriage to the mother of his children. Slut!
So, for the real dirt, I turn to E! Entertainment television. They have Ryan Seacrest on E News, for Christ's sake. They'll have the lowdown.
Nothing. Well, Guiliana di Pandi is on vacation. Maybe he needed help with this story.
Okay, well Access Hollywood will surely have the juicy inside details. No? Okay, possibly this is a higher level of gossip. Maybe Inside Edition with Deborah Norville. She used to be on the Today Show just like Katy Couric, so she's a kind of "real" journalist. Just the fodder for her.
Silence.
What is this, a blind item? Why is no one talking about this? What is going on? Was he fooling around with the research assistant he is now seeking to replace? Did his slut wife find out? Did she catch them in the act? What act? Were there pictures?
CBS Evening News with Katy Couric didn't touch the story. She LOVES celebrities! What is going on here?
If you hear anything - ANYTHING - about this, drop me a line.
Where are the real journalists, anyway?
Oh, and how's that theoretical physics thingy going?
posted by Kitty O'Keefe at 6:34 AM
1 Comments:
Hawking found a way to connect his voice synthesizer (basically an
electronic vibrator with rheostatic control of
amplification) to his tongue and was caught
wearing a blonde maryjane
wig within 1,000 feet of a
catholic girls' school...
specifically prohibited by
the terms of his current
probation. It was this which led to his divorce
procedings and to his discovery of glistening
pink lobes and pulsating
prominences with intermittent
ejecta in Mt. Wilson
archive sector 15A beyond
the Pessary Arc System.
We hope this data is
helpful.
The Nobel Committee
Stockholm
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