Incompetent Irrelevant and Immaterial
I'm not a lawyer, but I watch one on TV. No, not Law and Order. Can't stand that "doink doink" sound they're always playing.
I watch Perry Mason while I'm eating lunch. I love Raymond Burr. I loved Japanese monster movie Raymond, I loved the ever-expanding Perry Raymond and I loved Ironsides Raymond after he got too pudgy to walk. He's got a commanding voice, one that you want to listen to, like Walter Cronkite back when news was newsy.
Perry and his nemesis District Attorney Hamilton Berger (Ham Berger, get it?) had only one drawback that I can see. They had only one objection - "I object, Your Honor. That's incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial." Wow.
It would be hard for me to have only one objection. I find so much objectionable, in manners, speech and behavior. But if I had to narrow them all down - and they are many - I think I'd borrrow this one from Perry and Hamilton.
Incompetence is pervasive. Finding someone who knows what they're doing is rare, and finding a person who actually does the thing that they're good at, rarer still. Incompetent works, and it sounds more polite than "stupid."
Irrelevance is ubiquitous, too. Why else would I constantly be thinking, "So?" when I read or hear something? What the heck does THAT have to do with anything?
Immaterial is related to irrelevance, but has an air of specificity I like. Immaterial might be material to something - just not what we're talking about.
Nice alliteration, too, with all the "i's". Two four syllable words, followed by a fiver for a little punch.
So, while I'm not an attorney, if you see me with a slight frown and pursed mouth, you can assume I'm thinking "incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial."
Welcome to the secret society of the three i's.
I watch Perry Mason while I'm eating lunch. I love Raymond Burr. I loved Japanese monster movie Raymond, I loved the ever-expanding Perry Raymond and I loved Ironsides Raymond after he got too pudgy to walk. He's got a commanding voice, one that you want to listen to, like Walter Cronkite back when news was newsy.
Perry and his nemesis District Attorney Hamilton Berger (Ham Berger, get it?) had only one drawback that I can see. They had only one objection - "I object, Your Honor. That's incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial." Wow.
It would be hard for me to have only one objection. I find so much objectionable, in manners, speech and behavior. But if I had to narrow them all down - and they are many - I think I'd borrrow this one from Perry and Hamilton.
Incompetence is pervasive. Finding someone who knows what they're doing is rare, and finding a person who actually does the thing that they're good at, rarer still. Incompetent works, and it sounds more polite than "stupid."
Irrelevance is ubiquitous, too. Why else would I constantly be thinking, "So?" when I read or hear something? What the heck does THAT have to do with anything?
Immaterial is related to irrelevance, but has an air of specificity I like. Immaterial might be material to something - just not what we're talking about.
Nice alliteration, too, with all the "i's". Two four syllable words, followed by a fiver for a little punch.
So, while I'm not an attorney, if you see me with a slight frown and pursed mouth, you can assume I'm thinking "incompetent, irrelevant and immaterial."
Welcome to the secret society of the three i's.
posted by Kitty O'Keefe at 7:35 AM
2 Comments:
your blog is very disturbing you are sick
Thanks for your comments, anonymous. Yes, I AM sick. I've had the flu, as daily readers have plainly seen.
What, may I ask, is disturbing? Why is it that today is the day you chose to say so? Was it the Raymond Burr reference? Insufficient alliteration in the objections?
Post a Comment
<< Home