Public Relations 101
Today's scientific study results:
Garlic does not lower cholesterol.
Antioxidents do not prolong life.
Today's anecdotal observation:
Following up on Press Releases with newspaper editors is analogous to self flaggilation in sack cloth.
Garlic does not lower cholesterol.
Antioxidents do not prolong life.
Today's anecdotal observation:
Following up on Press Releases with newspaper editors is analogous to self flaggilation in sack cloth.
posted by Kitty O'Keefe at 8:19 PM
3 Comments:
The Return Of Anonymouse
Based on my experience
of editors, you would have
lots more fun wearing the
burlap and plying your flagil up and down the Via
Dolor Mater.
You recall, petit-chat,
my wild career as Chief of
Astrologicals on the old
Oil City Lubricant..my nom-
du-plume was Horace Cope and my popularity with the
star-crossed ladies got me
in some hot, tight places.
My editor was the kind of guy who not only tapped
an inch of Roi-Tan ash into
my brand new Harris tweed
trilby, but also sat on it.
(When it still smelt like
pastrami farts after two
weeks, I sadly gave it to
the wino living in the alley behind the pressroom. "THASS MIGHTY
WHITE UH YOU, BUD! I SHUR
CUD USE SOMPUN T'EAT AN
PISTRAHMMY'S ONE UH M'FAV-
RITS. SAY YOU DON GOT ENNY
DIJON HANDY, DOO'YUH?")
As so often, I digress.
Back at the Lubricant, his
gaseousness the editor had
a purpose other than sadistic acts against my
new hat. "Squeako? Even
though you're a mouse you're the smartest man in
this newsroom!..(uh..oh)..
and I know you can figure
out what to do with a phenomenon much afflicting
this paper!" "Italian flatulence?" I ventured
helpfully. He gave me a
suspicious look and went on.
He appointed me Director
of Press Release Sorting/ Evaluation, the bastard.
"You mean evaluation for
printing in the paper?"
His eyes enlarged and his
lower lip even quivered and he finally managed,
hauling his bilobal musso-lini out the door,
"Are you fucking NUTS??"
So I studied all the news releases that came in.
There were blatant demands
for free advertising. There
were kinda news stories
thinly wrapped around big
fat blatant demands for
free advertising and there
were some news stories which, if the Lubricant
chose to run them, might
enlighten and inform the
good citizenry of Greater
Venango County.
Did you know mice have
trouble with chapped lips?
We do. When I was a tiny pup, my Mother found a half
used tube of lip balm. I'm
still using it. We mice don't exactly need a whole
lot. After all these years
it still says "ChapStick"
along the side. Taking a
moment from wading through
the mounds of n.r.s piled
round my desk, I leaned back and smiled, "Ah, Dr.
Fleet in your little kitchen in Lynchburg in
1870.." I mused, "melting
and mixing the pink formula
on the stove..carefully
pouring it into candle molds..extruding as cylinders and cutting in
two or three inch lengths
..wrapping in waxed paper
and
(TO BE CONTINUED)
It's your old friend, Anonymouse. I wrote you a
piece about press releases
and thought I sent it on
through to you, but something odd happened. It
may never have arrived.
Pas-de-tout, I can sum
it up sometime if desired.
Meanwhile, my idea of fun
would be to write and send
out to the A-prime list of
major dailies, this p.r.:
FRANK LLOYD WRIGHT TO
DESIGN JOHNSON WAX HQ
I just read this blog for the first time and wondered if you're blogging somewhere else.
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