December 22, 2006

See You Next Year!

December 21, 2006

Divine Intervention

Finally,

Before my computer is sent to hybernate for the rest of the year, I finish with my sincere hope that you embrace Astrology, and contemplate the similarities of those with whom I share my Sagitarial sign:
On my birthday - Don Johnson. (Much older, of course)
Around my birthday - Bette Midler, Richard Pryor, Woody Allen, Britney Spears, Gianni Vercace, Daryl Hannah, Ozzy Osbourne, Jeff Bridges, General George Custer, Walt Disney, Babyface Nelson, Jim Morrison, Kim Bassinger, Beau Bridges, John Malkovich, Brenda Lee, Frank Sinatra, Nostradamus and Beethovan.
If that isn't enough to convert you, then just go ahead and believe in your "scientific" what-have-you, and know that, as a unique combination of the above mentioned Captains of Humanhood, I personally can be explained only with the assistance of Divine Intervention.
Ask The Divine Miss M.

December 20, 2006

La Sirine

Happy

Vodou Kitty wishes you a very Happy Saint Nicholas Day, Happy Fiesta of Our Lady of Guadalupe, Happy St. Lucia Day, Happy Hanukkah, Happy Solstice, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwansaa, Happy Boxing Day, Happy Omisoka and Happy Eid'ul-Adha.

December 19, 2006

Joy to the world, the Lord is come!

WHY I HATE CHRISTMAS

December 7, 2006

ENTER THE “WHY I HATE CHRISTMAS” CONTEST

Bill Donohue, president of the Catholic League, and Don Feder, president of Jews Against Anti-Christian Defamation, have launched a “Why I Hate Christmas” contest today. Donohue explains as follows:



“On December 6, a Zogby Poll disclosed that 95 percent of Americans are not offended by being greeted with a ‘Merry Christmas’ while shopping. Don Feder and I would like to know more about the 5 percent who object and have thus launched our ‘Why I Hate Christmas’ contest. Contestants must answer the following questions:



1) Explain relationship with father

2) Explain relationship with mother

3) State what religion, if any, were you raised in

4) List all phobias, e.g., fear of God

5) List all superstitions, e.g., belief in global warming

6) State which historical figure is most like you: (a) Hitler (b) Stalin (c) Mao (d) Pol Pot (e) Rosie O’Donnell

7) State last time you hallucinated

8) State last book you read before crashing

9) State how many times you’ve laughed in the past 10 years: (a) once (b) more than once but not more than thrice (c) more than thrice but not more than five times (d) can’t recall

10) List all prior mental disorders



“Please send us a photo so we can post your picture on our website, along with your response. The winner will receive a free copy of the Charles Dickens classic, A Christmas Carol. Finally, we will send your statement to Jackie Mason for a free psychological evaluation.”





The Catholic League is the nation's largest Catholic civil rights organization. It defends individual Catholics and the institutional Church from defamation and discrimination.

December 18, 2006

Big Slide

Bigger Slide

Not long ago, we were Astorian bon vivants. We threw parties, were invited to parties, and mixed often with our favorite people.
Times have changed.
Astoria is a lonely place now, with few gatherings - even during the holiday season. Some with whom we were once inseparable now don't even bother sending me a birthday card, much less going to dinner, or getting together for drinks or a visit.
Paul thinks it's because we're moving, but I think not. It started before then - nothing substantial, but less phone calls, more gatherings in which we were not included... Something happened, and I don't know what.
I've racked my brains...what did I say? what did I do? what did I NOT say? what didn't I do?
We drew a blank. Neither of us can figure it out.
All I want for Christmas is my house to sell. It's too cold up here to feel cold on the inside, too.

December 17, 2006

Olive Garden Near Casualty


"I barfed and barfed til I could barf no more," said the wispy creature, after having eaten barely a morsel.

Buckley's Busy

No services today.
But the Lord said it's cool to eat at Taco Bell, now babies.
At least as cool as it ever was.
Don't put the scene down at the Olive Garden, though. Three hundred dug it there....DIDN'T DIG IT.
See you down the line, and when you find yourself without the first biscuit, keep stompin past the Olive Garden, dig?